Episode 4: Domestic Violence and Money — A Vicious Circle No One Talks About

Series: Broken by Burden: Financial Survival Strategies for the Troubled Mind

Date: 14 June 2025

🧨 “When money becomes power, and power becomes control — love turns into fear, and a home becomes a cage.”

Rekha was once a confident, college-educated woman from a small town in West Bengal. She married into a family that promised support, security, and respect. But six months into the marriage, reality looked different.

Her husband would criticize every rupee she spent, even on essentials. When she asked for money to buy sanitary pads, he’d call her “irresponsible.” If she tried to visit her parents, he’d say she was wasting his “hard-earned money.” She wasn’t allowed to work — “no wife of mine will earn,” he said.

And then came the slaps — subtle at first, then louder than words. What Rekha didn’t know was that her abuse wasn’t just physical. It was financial.

🔍 Financial Abuse: The Quietest Form of Domestic Violence

When we talk about domestic violence, most people think of physical injury. But some of the deepest wounds are invisible — they’re economic.

Financial abuse occurs when one partner:

• Controls access to bank accounts
• Monitors all spending
• Forbids employment or education
• Withholds money as punishment
• Forces loans or credit cards into the victim’s name
• Uses money to manipulate, humiliate, or trap

It’s a form of violence that rarely leaves bruises but always leaves scars.

🧠 Why Financial Stress Fuels Abuse

Financial hardship adds enormous strain to any household. In such tension:

• Arguments increase.
• Control becomes a substitute for security.
• Frustration turns into aggression.
• And those with less power — often women and children — suffer the consequences.

In many Indian families, women are taught to be “adjusting,” to be “grateful,” to “save the marriage at all costs.”
But at what cost?

🧭 Survival and Empowerment Strategies

1. Name the abuse.

“What you cannot name, you cannot fight.”

Financial abuse is real, and you are not overreacting.

2. Start a “silent savings” habit.

Even if it’s ₹20 a day, hidden away safely — that’s your seed of independence.

3. Learn. Read. Reclaim.

• Educate yourself on basic finance: budgeting, UPI, digital banking.
• Watch YouTube videos. Join free workshops. Learn about your rights.

4. Seek safe support.

• Contact women’s helplines or local NGOs.
• Use code words with trusted friends.
• Build a quiet network that won’t alert the abuser.

5. Remember: You deserve freedom.

• Freedom to spend on your child’s uniform.
• Freedom to dream of work.
• Freedom to walk away when love becomes violence.

💛 A Note to Men and Families

Not all abusers are men. But in a deeply patriarchal society, it’s often the woman who is silenced — not just by her partner, but by relatives, neighbors, and culture itself.

If you are a man reading this — use your power to protect, not dominate.
Teach your sons that money is not a weapon.
And teach your daughters that money is not shameful.

🌈 You Are More Than Your Dependence

Rekha eventually walked out — with nothing but a bag, her baby, and courage.
Today, she works as a home tutor, saves every rupee, and teaches other women how to recognize financial abuse.

You, too, can rewrite your story.

Even if you feel trapped — your mind is still free.
Even if you can’t escape today — your first act of resistance is to believe you deserve better.

🔜 Next Episode Teaser:

Episode 5: The Shame Spiral — Why We Hide Our Financial Struggles
We’ll uncover why we feel ashamed of money problems, how secrecy makes it worse, and the power of vulnerability in healing.

Disclaimer:
This blog series is intended for informational, motivational, and emotional support purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional financial, legal, or mental health advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming financial stress, mental health issues, or suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a certified financial advisor, counsellor, or licensed therapist. If you are in immediate danger or crisis, contact a mental health helpline or emergency service in your area.

The stories presented here are inspired by real experiences but may be anonymized or adapted for narrative clarity. Readers are encouraged to make decisions based on their unique circumstances and to consult appropriate professionals. The author and publisher disclaim any responsibility for actions taken based on this content.