Episode 14: The Guilt of Spending — When Every Rupee Feels Like a Mistake
Series: Broken by Burden: Financial Survival Strategies for the Troubled Mind
Date: 30 June 2025
🧾 “I can afford it, but I still feel wrong spending it.”
Nilesh, a 37-year-old software engineer in Pune, had finally reached a phase in life where he wasn’t drowning in bills. His debts were under control, his salary steady, and his emergency fund growing.
But when he bought a simple kurta for Diwali — not designer, not expensive, just something new — he couldn’t sleep that night.
His thoughts spiralled:
- “Shouldn’t I have saved that money?”
- “What if something urgent comes up tomorrow?”
- “Did I just undo months of discipline in a single indulgence?”
That one ₹1,200 purchase felt like a personal failure.
Because Nilesh wasn’t spending money — he was spending guilt.
🔍 The Invisible Weight of Spending Guilt
For many who’ve lived through:
- Extreme poverty
- Job loss
- Crushing debt
- Years of financial insecurity
…the act of spending — even on necessities or modest joys — becomes emotionally charged.
They carry the belief:
“If I spend, I’ll suffer later.”
And so, even after financial recovery, they:
- Hesitate to buy things they need
- Feel anxious after every transaction
- Choose self-deprivation as a badge of responsibility
- Deny themselves joy, relaxation, or reward
- Punish themselves emotionally for small expenses
🧠 Where Does This Guilt Come From?
- Survivor’s fear: Having once lived on the edge, the mind clings to caution.
- Learned restraint: Being taught that money is only for needs — never for wants.
- Shame conditioning: Associating spending with being “irresponsible” or “greedy.”
- Comparison trap: Believing others save more, manage better, spend less.
- Unhealed trauma: The emotional hangover of past crises.
This isn’t about poor money management — it’s about emotional economics.
💡 How to Heal the Relationship with Spending
1. Recognize the pattern.
“I am not wrong for meeting my needs. I am not guilty for moments of joy.” Start by saying it out loud when guilt surfaces.
2. Create a “guilt-free” category in your budget.
Label a small monthly amount as “Joy Fund” or “Self-Care Spend”. Even ₹500 consciously set aside will retrain your brain to spend without panic.
3. Track emotions, not just expenses.
Each time you feel guilty after spending, journal:
- What did I buy?
- Why did I feel guilty?
- Was this guilt rational or a learned response?
With time, you’ll start separating fear from reality.
4. Reframe spending as nourishment.
- A good meal = energy
- A new pair of shoes = comfort
- A day trip with loved ones = emotional health
You are not wasting money. You are investing in your well-being.
5. Talk to your inner child.
If you grew up hearing “We can’t afford it,” remind yourself: “We have enough now. It’s safe to enjoy life in moderation.”
🌱 The Gentle Art of Allowing
Nilesh eventually created a ritual: every month, he’d buy one small item — guilt-free. A book. A meal with his mother. A plant for his balcony. Each time, he’d say, “This is not waste. This is grace.”
His finances remained strong. But more importantly — his relationship with money became softer, kinder, freer.
💬 If This Is You…
Please know:
- Saving is wise — but joy is not sin.
- Caution is smart — but fear is not a lifestyle.
- You deserve comfort — not punishment.
Guilt is not proof of wisdom. Sometimes, it’s proof of old wounds that now need healing.
You’ve earned the right to breathe. To buy a meal. To gift a friend. To live without apologizing for it.
🔜 Next Episode Teaser:
Episode 16: The Isolation Trap — Why Financial Struggles Make Us Withdraw
We’ll explore how money troubles lead people to emotionally and physically isolate themselves — and how reconnecting is essential for both financial and emotional recovery.
Disclaimer:
This blog series is intended for informational, motivational, and emotional support purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional financial, legal, or mental health advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming financial stress, mental health issues, or suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a certified financial advisor, counsellor, or licensed therapist. If you are in immediate danger or crisis, contact a mental health helpline or emergency service in your area.
The stories presented here are inspired by real experiences but may be anonymized or adapted for narrative clarity. Readers are encouraged to make decisions based on their unique circumstances and to consult appropriate professionals. The author and publisher disclaim any responsibility for actions taken based on this content.
Finance World 
Leave a comment