Episode 23: Emotional Spending — When Money is Used to Soothe the Soul
Series: Broken by Burden: Financial Survival Strategies for the Troubled Mind
Date: 09 July 2025
🛍️ “I wasn’t shopping for a product. I was shopping for a feeling — a moment of relief.”
Vikas, a 40-year-old teacher from Ranchi, lived frugally most of the time. But every time he had a bad day — a colleague’s taunt, a student’s disrespect, or a call from the bank — he would open his Amazon app.
A new wristwatch, a Bluetooth speaker, a branded wallet — none of them were essential.
But each item gave him 15 minutes of joy.
That brief “You deserve it” moment.
That illusion of control.
Until the packages arrived, and guilt followed.
By the end of the month, he was dipping into savings meant for his daughter’s education.
The problem wasn’t lack of discipline.
The problem was emotional pain disguised as purchasing power.
🧠 What Is Emotional Spending?
It’s not buying a need.
It’s not buying a luxury.
It’s buying to silence a feeling — boredom, sadness, stress, shame, loneliness, or anger.
It looks like:
- Ordering food when you feel unloved
- Buying clothes to feel “worthy” or attractive
- Spending on gadgets to feel “in control”
- Booking vacations impulsively to escape everyday stress
- Gifting others just to feel appreciated
The dopamine hit is real. But so is the debt that follows.
According to a large survey, About 5% of the population have a emotional shopping addiction. However, approximately one in 20 individuals suffer from compulsive buying disorder at some point in their lives. Being young and female are associated with a higher risk of compulsive buying disorder.
Reference: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-wealth/202305/the-psychology-of-emotional-spending
🔍 Why We Confuse Spending with Self-Care
In a world where:
- Our time isn’t ours
- Validation is rare
- Joy feels unaffordable
…spending becomes a shortcut to emotional reward.
But it’s a temporary plaster over permanent wounds.
And the cycle repeats:
- Emotional discomfort →
- Impulse purchase →
- Temporary relief →
- Financial regret →
- More emotional discomfort
It becomes a loop of internal bankruptcy.
💡 How to Break the Emotional Spending Habit
1. Identify your emotional triggers.
Ask: When do I overspend? What am I feeling just before I open that app or swipe that card? Keep a spending journal — not for amounts, but for emotions.
2. Replace the response, not the emotion.
You’re not wrong to want comfort.
You just need cheaper, healthier comforts:
- A long walk
- Journaling
- Talking to a trusted friend
- Listening to nostalgic music
- Doing something creative (art, poetry, baking)
3. Introduce the “24-hour rule.”
Before buying any item, just ask to yourself “Can I buy it tomorrow or Can I wait for a week?” If Answer is yes to postpone purchase for next day or next week then don’t buy on that day. And ask the same question again on next day or next week. Through this way you can stop the impulsive buying habit and start shopping only these items which is necessary.
Wait 24 hours before buying non-essential items.
Often, the urge will pass — and clarity will remain.
4. Unfollow temptation.
Mute accounts, ads, and influencers that trigger insecurity or unnecessary desire. What you see regularly affects what you want.
5. Create a joy fund — intentionally.
Set aside a fixed monthly amount (even ₹500) to spend on something that genuinely nourishes you — with no guilt.
Control isn’t the opposite of joy. Balanced permission is.
🌱 Vikas’s Reset
After one especially heavy credit card bill, Vikas paused. He tracked his spending patterns and noticed a common theme — he bought when he felt small.
With help from a counselor, he started naming his feelings instead of numbing them.
Today, he’s shifted to:
- Reading instead of scrolling
- Calling his daughter instead of ordering food
- Journaling after tough workdays
His expenses dropped. But more importantly, his self-awareness rose.
He no longer buys joy. He cultivates it.
💬 If You’ve Ever Spent Just to Feel “Okay”…
You’re not greedy. You’re not reckless.
You’re just hurting and seeking a hug in the form of a bill.
You deserve joy. You deserve healing.
But let it be the kind that lasts — not the kind that empties your wallet and your heart.
🔜 Next Episode Teaser:
Episode 24: The Illusion of “One Big Break” — Why Hoping for a Miracle Can Be Dangerous
In the next episode, we explore the fantasy of the “big rescue” — winning the lottery, a windfall investment, or one golden opportunity — and why real financial recovery is built on consistent, grounded action.
Disclaimer:
This blog series is intended for informational, motivational, and emotional support purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional financial, legal, or mental health advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming financial stress, mental health issues, or suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a certified financial advisor, counsellor, or licensed therapist. If you are in immediate danger or crisis, contact a mental health helpline or emergency service in your area.
The stories presented here are inspired by real experiences but may be anonymized or adapted for narrative clarity. Readers are encouraged to make decisions based on their unique circumstances and to consult appropriate professionals. The author and publisher disclaim any responsibility for actions taken based on this content.
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