Episode 36: The Guilt of Enjoying Money — When Treating Yourself Feels Like a Sin
Series: Broken by Burden: Financial Survival Strategies for the Troubled Mind
Date: 24 July 2025
🎂 “I stood in the shop, looking at the cake. I could afford it — but I left empty-handed.”
Swetha works as an accountant in a small firm in Kochi. She earns enough to manage her rent, family support, and some savings. Her colleagues often say, “Why don’t you buy something nice for yourself?”
What they don’t know is this:
Whenever Swetha tries to spend even a small amount on a treat — a good dinner, a branded dress, or a birthday cake just for herself — her chest tightens.
Her mind says:
“Why waste money on this? What if you need it tomorrow? You don’t deserve this. Be practical.”
So she walks away. Again and again.
Not because she can’t pay — but because her mind whispers: “Joy is a risk you can’t afford.”
🧠 Why Do Some People Fear Spending on Themselves?
The roots are deep:
- Growing up with scarcity or debt
- Hearing “money doesn’t grow on trees” every day
- Watching parents fight over small expenses
- Seeing elders sacrifice basic pleasures for survival
- Learning that “self-care” is selfish if others have needs
The result?
When the time comes to enjoy what they’ve earned, they freeze — trapped in a cycle of deserving vs. denying.
⚡ The Emotional Cost of Joy Guilt
- Chronic self-neglect while over-giving to others
- Hidden resentment toward loved ones who don’t feel the same guilt
- Under-celebrating milestones (birthdays, promotions, small wins)
- Living in constant fear that pleasure = punishment later
- Mistaking sacrifice for virtue — always, even when unnecessary
🔍 How to Recognize This Invisible Chain
If you:
- Overthink before spending on even small joys
- Feel regret or shame after buying for yourself
- Hide your own purchases from family
- Feel unworthy of luxury “just for you”
- Celebrate everyone else but skip your own happiness
…it’s not frugality. It’s fear.
💡 How to Spend Without Guilt (and With Grace)
✅ 1. Start with permission, not planning
Tell yourself: “I am allowed to enjoy what I earn.”
Repeat it aloud if needed — every belief needs a counter-belief.
✅ 2. Budget a “joy envelope”
Even ₹200–₹500 monthly, purely for something that makes you smile — a coffee at your favourite café, a book, fresh flowers.
Joy isn’t waste. Joy is fuel.
✅ 3. Celebrate tiny wins on purpose
Did you clear an EMI? Hit a small savings goal? Finish a tiring month?
Mark it with a treat — not as extravagance, but as evidence that life can be more than bills.
✅ 4. Practice small splurges
It’s like training a muscle.
Start with guilt-free snacks. Then a movie ticket. Then that birthday cake.
Each “yes” weakens the old “no.”
✅ 5. Talk about it
Shame shrinks when spoken.
Tell a friend: “I’m trying to learn how to be kind to myself with my money.”
You’ll often find they’re fighting the same battle.
🌱 Swetha’s Slice of Freedom
Last year, Swetha stood in the same bakery.
She saw the cake. Her throat tightened — but she stayed.
She bought the cake. Went home. Lit a single candle. And told herself: “I deserve sweetness too.”
She didn’t finish the whole thing.
But she finished the belief that she wasn’t worthy of tasting her own happiness.
💬 If You Struggle to Spend on Yourself…
Please remember:
Saving is wise. Sacrifice is sometimes necessary.
But joy is not wasteful — joy is a sign you believe you matter too.
You didn’t survive this far just to keep saying no to yourself forever.
Episode 37: Financial Dependence and Silent Despair — When One Income Controls Many Lives
In the next episode, we’ll explore how entire families often rely on one earning member — and the silent despair that grows when the dependence becomes a prison for both the giver and the takers.
⚠️ Disclaimer:
This blog series is intended for informational, motivational, and emotional support purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional financial, legal, or mental health advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming financial stress, mental health issues, or suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a certified financial advisor, counselor, or licensed therapist. If you are in immediate danger or crisis, contact a mental health helpline or emergency service in your area.
The stories presented here are inspired by real experiences but may be anonymized or adapted for narrative clarity. Readers are encouraged to make decisions based on their unique circumstances and to consult appropriate professionals. The author and publisher disclaim any responsibility for actions taken based on this content.
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